Is your attention span greater than a goldfish? And what this has to do with great sex...
Plus Festival Tickets going fast! Early bird nearly sold out and closing soon.
How long can you honestly pay attention to something subtle?Â
A sensation. Â
The gentle caress of a breeze.Â
An emotion that has an edge of unfamiliar or challenge.
Take a moment and ponder.
Are you constantly moving quickly through the world at a pace that allows little pause to even notice you have a body and your feet are on the ground?
Do you find yourself easily distracted and looking for the next shiny new thing?
Is it uncomfortable to sit still and quiet and simply be, without the need to do or produce anything?
I was pondering the whole idea of attention span at a recent festival planning meeting with friends recently.Â
A delightful conversation that sparked laughter and also a deeper curiosity and awareness.
How many people out there actually have an attention less than a gold fish…we wondered.
What will happen if we all just keep getting faster and essentially begin to ‘need’ this break-neck pace or we get bored.
Is there actually a tipping point where we simply combust?!
Whilst our musings were funny and we can joke it all away, there is also a serious side to our modern culture’s addiction to this faster-more-keep-moving type approach.
Social media constantly reflects this way of being.
Instagram reels are picking up pace and images need to immediately get our attention or we quickly scroll on by.
Competition for attention emerges, as there is little space in the constriction that comes into the body when our nervous system experiences our accelerator being pressed constantly to the floor.
Being the sex geeks that I am and my friends are, this conversation then found its way to consider attention in relation to pleasure. (Yes, our marketing meetings are an erotic playground of a lot of energy and fun!)
Hmmm…no wonder people struggle to have sexual experiences that feel amazing, we mused.
Even those who know the importance of needing to slow down, often know this only in theory with little practical skills to support them to create and cultivate it ongoingly in their life.
Have you ever had the experience of being in the presence of another human being, who deeply knows and cherishes their sexual self and is able to ‘sit back’ with it in their own body.
A person who can slow down and bring themself to the present moment with nowhere else to be.
Someone with whom you feel so comfortably seen without a word being spoken.
Whose touch feels so electric as they attune to the unique felt sense of you.
Chances are, if you have had this experience, it still lives in your body and memory, and you are feeling it right now as you read.
This is the essence of good sex. It is our ability to slow down and have a bandwidth to pay attention, that allows us to step out of life’s fast performance and agenda lane, and into the depth and beauty of now.
These are skills we can all learn and master.
They are somatic, and once learnt live in the cells of our muscles and flow with our breath.
Contrary to popular opinion, good sex is not about technique and competence.
So many people are feeling exhausted and disconnected from the pleasure and aliveness they deeply desire.
Sadly, this becomes the new norm and we settle, placing sex and our erotic curiosity into the too hard basket.
We decide it’s not possible for us or that it requires such radical change in our relationships and life, that it is never going to happen.
As a Sexological Bodyworker and Somatic Sex Educator, I see many people navigating this place in life.
They are questioning what’s possible, and trusting the sparks of longing that still remain despite the depleting effort of it all.
They know there must be another way, but just aren’t sure how to find it.
Each time one of these folk walk through my door, I feel the spark of possibility and hope.
Why? Because I know that every body has the potential for pleasure.
I know that every body, with the right opportunity to practice, explore and learn new ways of being, can change their experiences.
I know the erotic aliveness and life force that lives in every human can be nourished through an environment of safety and support.
It is why I do the work I do.
Nothing delights me more than to witness someone re-membering their vibrant sexual self.
And it all starts with an ability to slow down, notice and pay attention.
What is it like to know you have been present and read to here?
You have followed the threads of your own curiosity and gifted it your time.
You have made space in the busy-ness and demands of your day.
And slowed down enough to notice.
You are in this moment changing or deepening your capacity for pleasure. And have an attention span greater than a gold fish. 😊
If you would like to know more about FEAST visit www.feastunlimited.com and secure a place at our 2025 festival.
Please choose what feels good for you.
Choice matters to me. So please take a moment and honour what feels in alignment for you. An action to unsubscribe is as valued to me as passing this newsletter onto to another. Our world needs people who notice, honour and take action on their desires and limits. You will find the unsubscribe button at the end of this newsletter.
Updates + News…
Early Bird FEAST Tickets almost sold out!!
With only days remaining until the closing date for this second round of luscious FEAST tickets, we have less than a handful remaining.
So if you want to secure your place at best current prices jump in quickly!
Early Bird Ticket Round will close at
5pm on Saturday 19th October
or when sold out.
We currently still have dorm beds and our beautiful Glamping Bell Tents or Luxury Private Cabin Package available this round.
Camping and Private Lodge Rooms have sold out.
More camping tickets will be available next round.
Please remember when booking to add your accommodation choice.
This is a residential festival only.
For those enthusiastic erotic explorers who need a bit of help with finances, please check out our sponsorship program and allow us to help you make your FEAST dream a reality.
Work with me…
I offer individual or couple sessions in person at my home-work studio or via zoom. Now is a great time to invest in your erotic self with somatic and embodiment practices. Sessions are uniquely designed around your learning intentions and we dip into my tool kit of Sexological Bodywork, Somatic Experiencing and Embodied Consent, in a way that is most useful to you.
I am your companion and resource on a journey of re-membering your authentic erotic self.
